Typical dinners with my family usually include lots of stories about past times, where there is usually some debate about how someone remembers something totally different than the other person. For example, " I was grounded for like 2 weeks." "No way, we never grounded you for 2 weeks." Or "I remember when I was like 5...." "You weren't 5 you were 9."
It happens with friends too, when someone recalls a funny story, there is always that one person like, "noooo, we drank like 10 beers......and we were with Tony not Jon." It's funny how every person involved in the convo/debate could have been there, but their view of the situation, is different from the next persons. Sometimes, really different.
In life everyone has a different perspective of what life is, beliefs, ways of looking at things (pessimist/optimist). Even, like I mentioned, your own family members will have a different perspective than you do sometimes.
Something else I've noticed is, perspective is everything to a person. Just like you can't convince me Kim Kardashian should be famous, you can't convince a person their perspective is wrong. This is different than their opinion, it goes deeper than that. Perspective is based on a person's view of life, who they trust and why, based on positive and negative experiences.
Two people could walk into a store together (but separate) and person #1 is greeted with a "hello (smiling), how can I help you today?" but person #1 is having a crappy day, one of those days where everything is going wrong. Person #1 is so focused on how crappy of a day he is having, he doesn't even acknowledge the fact anyone just said hello, and smiled at him. Person #2 walks in at the same time, and is greeted in the same way. Person #2 is polite and smiles back, takes time to genuinely acknowledge that the person standing at the door, is in fact a human being, who is greeting people with a genuine spirit. Do you think if you asked person #1 and person #2 if they had a good experience they would say the same thing? Would you be surprised if person #1 would say he wasn't greeted, if asked?
I am guilty of being person #1 when I have those day, weeks, or months; when everything I do seems to be getting me no where, but backwards (so it seems). The problem with this is, when you focus on the negative things in life, you dwell on all that is not good. You let the pleasant things go unnoticed. It is very important to not get stuck in the rut of negativity. Always wondering when the next problem is going to come up. Assuming negative things about people. I personally can take blame for that. Having worked in the service industry, I have seen and dealt with all kinds or personalities, attitudes, etc. Sometimes it is hard for me to not assume things about people, because there are so many tall tale signs of how a person will be, just based on their body language, and few first words that come out of their mouth. So, based on what I have experienced with people, I tend to pre-judge sometimes. I forget I need to treat people how I want to be treated, and not how I have been treated by other rude people I have come across in life.
I am guilty of being person #1, but for the most part, I try really hard not to judge people. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be a good example of a loving person. I really do try to notice all the "little" blessings in life, daily.
What may be a "little blessing" to me, is a big one to someone else. For example, when I run in the morning, I think to myself sometimes, "wow, I am thankful I have legs that work." How often are you thankful for your limbs? Most people who are fortunate, don't think about this. That is sad. It's like they say, "Don't know what you got til it's gone?"
Being thankful for your health, is another thing. If you are a healthy person, you are fortunate. Suffering is not fun. This is a HUGE reason why it is important to not take a healthy body for granted; stuffing it with a bunch of junk and bunch of chemicals.
I am sure I am not the only person that is guilty of being like person #1. In fact I know so. Here's the thing though, being like person #1 is not productive. Being too consumed with your own problems is totally normal. Allowing your problems to effect your perspective of life (and all that surrounds you), and viewing things in a negative light, causes the spread of anger, depression, hatred, self doubt, self pity, and just plain miserable, ugly, crap. It doesn't need to be polluting your mind, soul and perspective; of what life really has to offer you. So don't let it!
Being like person #2 takes a conscious effort. It is important not to punish everyone around you for the pain others have caused you. Spread the attitude of thankfulness, joy, love, and generosity. It makes you feel better.... and the people around you; so it is productive x's 2. Trust me, it will get you further in life! Everyone looks better with a smile!
It happens with friends too, when someone recalls a funny story, there is always that one person like, "noooo, we drank like 10 beers......and we were with Tony not Jon." It's funny how every person involved in the convo/debate could have been there, but their view of the situation, is different from the next persons. Sometimes, really different.
In life everyone has a different perspective of what life is, beliefs, ways of looking at things (pessimist/optimist). Even, like I mentioned, your own family members will have a different perspective than you do sometimes.
Something else I've noticed is, perspective is everything to a person. Just like you can't convince me Kim Kardashian should be famous, you can't convince a person their perspective is wrong. This is different than their opinion, it goes deeper than that. Perspective is based on a person's view of life, who they trust and why, based on positive and negative experiences.
Two people could walk into a store together (but separate) and person #1 is greeted with a "hello (smiling), how can I help you today?" but person #1 is having a crappy day, one of those days where everything is going wrong. Person #1 is so focused on how crappy of a day he is having, he doesn't even acknowledge the fact anyone just said hello, and smiled at him. Person #2 walks in at the same time, and is greeted in the same way. Person #2 is polite and smiles back, takes time to genuinely acknowledge that the person standing at the door, is in fact a human being, who is greeting people with a genuine spirit. Do you think if you asked person #1 and person #2 if they had a good experience they would say the same thing? Would you be surprised if person #1 would say he wasn't greeted, if asked?
I am guilty of being person #1 when I have those day, weeks, or months; when everything I do seems to be getting me no where, but backwards (so it seems). The problem with this is, when you focus on the negative things in life, you dwell on all that is not good. You let the pleasant things go unnoticed. It is very important to not get stuck in the rut of negativity. Always wondering when the next problem is going to come up. Assuming negative things about people. I personally can take blame for that. Having worked in the service industry, I have seen and dealt with all kinds or personalities, attitudes, etc. Sometimes it is hard for me to not assume things about people, because there are so many tall tale signs of how a person will be, just based on their body language, and few first words that come out of their mouth. So, based on what I have experienced with people, I tend to pre-judge sometimes. I forget I need to treat people how I want to be treated, and not how I have been treated by other rude people I have come across in life.
I am guilty of being person #1, but for the most part, I try really hard not to judge people. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be a good example of a loving person. I really do try to notice all the "little" blessings in life, daily.
What may be a "little blessing" to me, is a big one to someone else. For example, when I run in the morning, I think to myself sometimes, "wow, I am thankful I have legs that work." How often are you thankful for your limbs? Most people who are fortunate, don't think about this. That is sad. It's like they say, "Don't know what you got til it's gone?"
Being thankful for your health, is another thing. If you are a healthy person, you are fortunate. Suffering is not fun. This is a HUGE reason why it is important to not take a healthy body for granted; stuffing it with a bunch of junk and bunch of chemicals.
I am sure I am not the only person that is guilty of being like person #1. In fact I know so. Here's the thing though, being like person #1 is not productive. Being too consumed with your own problems is totally normal. Allowing your problems to effect your perspective of life (and all that surrounds you), and viewing things in a negative light, causes the spread of anger, depression, hatred, self doubt, self pity, and just plain miserable, ugly, crap. It doesn't need to be polluting your mind, soul and perspective; of what life really has to offer you. So don't let it!
Being like person #2 takes a conscious effort. It is important not to punish everyone around you for the pain others have caused you. Spread the attitude of thankfulness, joy, love, and generosity. It makes you feel better.... and the people around you; so it is productive x's 2. Trust me, it will get you further in life! Everyone looks better with a smile!
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